There's this oh-so-ironic holiday commercial on this season, featuring three adolescent females, two verizon cell phones, the verizon network crew, and an angry Shetland pony. You've seen it.
Anyway, when this commercial came on the other night I turned to the Russian lover and said "the children aren't getting a pony for Christmas." (Speaking of hypothetical future children, not of, say, children I've failed to mention until now because we keep them hidden in the attic.) The subject of children doesn't often come up between us, unless it's in the form of a joke ("Hey i think i might be pregnant! Hah hah, just kidding! You were scared it was true for a minute there though, weren't you!") or a discussion after a friend's child's birthday party ("Never. Ever. Never ever").
Which is to say I found the pony so creepy that I had to speak up and preemptively rule out any pony-having.
"You won't let your kids have ponies?" the Russian lover asked.
"No."
"So we're not going to have horses on the country estate? Come on. Don't you want horses?"
And initially I thought, no, I don't want horses either. But then I remembered that horses will require a stable. And if we have a stable, then we're going to need...a stableboy! And as a woman with a degree in English Literature, I understand the many ways in which stableboys can be put to good use. So I have decided that if the kids want horses, that will be just fine.
And then, when we've hired the poolboy and the manny, my harem will be complete.