Lately I've burned out on celebrity gossip. I just don't care the way I used to about TomKat or Brangelina or Jessica Simpson or any of the rest of it. Typically, at work in the morning Perez Hitlon is the first thing I check after my email. But these past few days I just can't make myself do it. I may have overindulged for too long.
I have a mildly obsessive personality. When I discover a new food, I will eat only that for lunch for a week. When I hear a catchy song, I listen to it over and over. When I like a book, I won't do anything else until I've finished reading the whole thing. When I discover a new idea, I will read every book ever written about the subject. And then, of course, I will get sick of it and get it out of my system.
So maybe, this is what has happened with my celebrity obsession. I'm just over it, and now I can't really stomach it. I'm tired of living vicariously, of being more enthusiastic about observing other people's lives than about living my own.
On the other hand, I feel like I should do my part to support the papparazzi machine. The paparazzi are the only justice our society serves to the overpaid, overprivelged, and underworked. It's like an existential tax on wealth and fame. If for some reason you have become obscenely rich and well-known for doing essentially nothing but playing pretend, or singing a song, or showing your tits, you'll pay for it by losing your right to privacy in the public sphere.
What most celebrities fail to realize is that the public has funded their existence. They are rich and famous because enough people are willing to pay them to perform whatever tricks they specialize in. This is why the public acts like they own the rights to celebrities 24/7, and in this it's hard to argue that they are entirely wrong.
Celebrities whine that they just want to be left alone, they just want to be treated like everyone else and be allowed to go about their lives. Yes, and we all want to be treated like VIPs and allowed to do whatever the fuck we want thanks to a platinum album or an oscar statuette. LIFE IS TOUGH.
Honestly, when celebrities whine this way I think they should be given exactly what they want. They should be ignored when they want a good table on a Saturday night with no reservation and no grease for the M'aitre D's palm. They should be turned away from the door at the hot new nightspot. They should have to fly coach, sitting between a flatulent obese man and a screaming baby. They should have to wait in lines at amusement parks. It's pretty easy to be ignored by society, if that's what you want - don't be rich and famous.
If they really wanted privacy, they should have gone the path of being rich and indifferent. Typically, however, that path involves intelligence, or hard work, or at least the ability to function without constant attention and validation.
If you want the perpetual spotlight, then be prepared to wear sunglasses at night and jump into your tinted SUV to avoid the flashbulb swarms. And enjoy it, because eventually we'll all be bored of you, and then you'll have all the privacy you could ever want. Then maybe you'll realize that while fame came at a price, it also came with a fat paycheck.