There have been a lot of GreenPeace volunteers on the streets lately. White college students in lime t-shirts with clipboards are outposted on many of the blocks I pass on my way home from work. I guess this is their idea of a summer job, which is funny, because my idea of a summer job always involved actually working and making money for school. But I guess if you (ahem, your parents) can afford to let you spend your summer begging the legitimately employed to give their money to some cause or other, then hey - go for it. But get out of my way, because I don't want to hear about it.
One day I was walking home, talking on the cell phone to a friend. I was quite obviously holding a cell phone to my ear, and quite obviously engaged in a conversation. However, a green-shirted youth took it upon himself to walk up to me and ask me if I would like to help save the environment. "You DO see that I'm on the phone right now, don't you?" I snapped back. "Have a nice day, Ma'am," he said. I nearly made an endangered species out of him right there.
Lately I've been having more than a few of them approach me with the opener "How are you doing today, you look like an environmentalist!" And my first thought is, oh god, do I? But I shave my body hair and I'm carrying a leather bag! Then I realize that it's probably just because I'm under 35, and this is just a line in their script, and I shouldn't take it personally.
Typically all I say to people with clipboards is "no thank you" as they approach me, and I don't stop moving. Ignoring them doesn't work, because it just makes them want to try harder to get your attention. Firm and fast rejection is the easiest way to get away. But by now I'm getting so tired of hearing that I look like an environmentalist, I'm ready to demonstrate my ire. Lately I've just been growling "not even remotely" as I walk by, which prompts them to shout banal things after me as I cross the street, like "Today is a great day to become one!"
So, a short list of possible things to say in response to "You look like an environmentalist!"
- "No, I'm a realist."
- "You look like a waste of natural resources."
- "I used to be, but now I'm a taxpayer."
- "Why, did I forget to shave my legs today?"
- "You look naive."