the story of the cat that wasn't fixed
There once was an expensive cat that wasn't fixed because someday, that cat was going to breed with another expensive cat and produce a litter of expensive kittens. Expensive kittens would be sold and the girl with the expensive cat would go shopping for silly overpriced things, or maybe just pay off her credit cards.
In the meantime, the expensive cat would sometimes go into heat. Most people don't know what a cat sounds like when it is in heat. The sound itself is difficult to reproduce, but the effect of the sound is easily achieved. Take a wooden chopstick and stab your eardrum over and over. Then do it again on the other side. Now try to hold a conversation. Or sleep. Or digest food. Or initiate sex. But keep on stabbing! Now do it for a week.
Which is to say that the girl with the expensive cat had many sleepless, sexless nights. The expensive cat didn't seem to be enjoying itself much either during these phases, but the girl had little sympathy for the expensive cat. After all, it wasn't like expensive cat had to worry about anything else besides the empty promise of getting laid. Expensive cat didn't have a credit score or rent to consider; expensive cat didn't have to get up for work in the morning and pacify a dozen seething academics before noon. Expensive cat was whining about one thing and one thing only, and while the girl might have related to this at fifteen, at 30 she had no such patience for the unfulfilled libido of her feline friend.
So the girl locked expensive cat in the bathroom at night and drugged herself with wine in an attempt to forget the chopsticks in her ears, but expensive cat persevered. For seven days and seven nights expensive cat continued her campaign, pleading for sensual attention. But lo, on the eighth day expensive cat was silent again. The girl marvelled at the quiet and hugged her expensive cat, apologizing for her impatience and promising wonderful gifts for expensive cat on the day that expensive cat finally put out and paid off her credit cards. Or just bought her a Gucci dress.