About not renaming this site. Because the last month or so has been a parade of various maladies, and I thought it would be better to keep the running track of bitching and moaning in my head instead of committing it to written form.
I threw out my back about a month ago, and it has remained thrown. After several weeks I sought out a chiropractor because, well, I wanted putting on shoes to stop being an ordeal. You know you've done a terrible harm to yourself when you drop something on the floor and your first thought it, Oh dear. How will I ever get to that? It may as well have rocketed into space.
And it turns out a little incident I had on a boat several years ago was the crowning affliction on three decades of living, and my body had gone all kinds of off kilter, and the chiro was surprised I was still walking around like a normal person instead of laying down to die. Not that I hadn't thought of that.
So I'm going to the chiro 3 days a week, and that's only because he's not in the office more days that that. I think I'm beginning to see a light at the end of the tunnel, but its a very long tunnel and I've been in it a long time. Years of aches and pains that I thought were a normal part of life...well, apparently the other twenty-somethings out there who weren't subjected to multiple traumas didn't feel like that at all. My normal was the normal of an octogenarian, and it was absurd that I accepted it as long as I did. But I didn't know. I thought I was just being a wuss.
It was only when I reached the point where I couldn't do any of the things I wanted to do, and I could only do very few of the things I needed to do, that I decided to get help. The chiro recommended to me is a cheerful older man who wears a different bow tie every day and assures me that he'll get rid of me as a patient as soon as he can; which is to say, I'm going to be just fine eventually. In the meantime there are good days and bad days, but the bad days now are better than the good days from before. Healing is always a process of two steps forward, one step back. There are no miracles, only journeys.